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we are quickly approaching our big trip to japan this autumn. i've been planning this since february, all of the important stuff has been booked. i'm super excited and also very nervous... my plan is to basically drug myself so i can sleep through most of the flight. of course i'm also nervous about the language barrier, plus all of the news about overtourism. i know it'll be okay tho, everyone i know seems to have a good time. i know i'm going to have a ton of fun, but i'm also trying not to build up too many pre-conceived notions so i don't inevitably disappoint myself. basically i need to just chill out, lol.
c is currently out of town and i'm enjoying having a little alone time. it's been nice to sit and reflect on my life and the choices i've made over the last few years. i've finally gotten to a place where i can truly say i'm happy with who i am and proud of myself. i have so much more work to do, but i feel like i have grown so, so, so much over the last few years. i wish getting there wasn't such a messy journey, but it is what it is. traveling more will be good for me as well, i really want to expand my worldview as much as i can.
i have oscillated between being super busy and doing nothing all summer. some weeks we never left the apartment, and then others we were out 4-5 nights a week. i'm trying to be sober for a few weeks, all of the drinking has definitely been catching up to me. more heartburn, hangovers, etc. and i want to get that under control before it goes too far.
i'm trying to figure out what the next phase is for me. i should finish my degree, i'm so close, but i'm just so uninterested in it. plus i don't want to add anymore debt to my name. idk i'm hoping after going on this trip maybe i will magically have an epiphany and figure out what to do next. but until then, i'm enjoying what's happening right now.